Quote:
Originally Posted by ArmorPlate108
It's also important to remember that abuse tends to be progressive.
Many (if not most) abusers start relationships as the most charming and charismatic people you can imagine. The escalation is often a slow and steady pattern of testing and amping up of abusive behaviors. You get into "frog in the pot" territory where the victims' are often not aware of just how bad things have gotten over time--- even if they know something isn't right. True victims aren't victims by choice, and shouldn't ever feel blamed or shamed for something cruel that another person has done to them.
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Omg. TRUTH! Abuse IS progressive. My ex husband didn’t become severely abusive until just after the wedding. It had been a year before we got married (whirlwind romance and moved in together fast). I was so swept up in being romanced and pursued, I lost all logic. I saw hints and signs leading up to the wedding, but after solidifying the marriage and my tie to him, the abuse escalated far worse. I don’t mean to hijack the thread but this is such an important aspect to the abuse cycle and how it starts. Important to learn after abuse to avoid it happening again with someone new.