I’m sorry you are distressed. She can’t speak with your husband about you unless you’ve given explicit permission to do so.

If you want to speak to her about what is going on, you probably need to call her directly.

If you are unsafe, is it time to consider hospitalization?

I know you don’t want to do that, but if you are in that severe a crisis, it might be the right option so they can help you stabilize, particularly if working with your therapist is not a healthy option.