im struggling yall. so bad.

idk if im depressed or manic or mixed like t thinks. i jump back and forth all day. t says im better than i was in august when i was manic as hell. now im starting to have high anxiety and feeling stressed by any littel thing liek dishes o r what to eat or drink. why is the moon so bright? why am i exhausted all day then cant sleep well? i have so much to do and no time or energy to do it even typing this is hard. my eyes hurt. i wanna cry but i wanna go party ( im not a party person). i wanna hide all day. i dont wanna be alone except for when i do. i wanna talk to t and tell him the things im seeing but i dont want him to know. im a walking contradiction.

:
"I tell the truth 'cept when I lie-it only hurts me when i cry"