What do I do?? Not too long ago I read a post by someone here I believe in the creative corner. I related so very much to this and feeling close to it now. I would like to quote some of it and hope this is allowed: if not give me crap:

When is it okay to say?
'Enough is enough'?
When is it okay to say?
'It's time to check out'?

This continues on and makes so much sense when I read it over and over again. How do we fight when we depend on 'professionals' to help us help ourselves. I had finally reached a point to say to myself: "Justy, its time to get better. If you can't do this for yourself then do it for your kids, the ones that count on you." I had to convince myself to go to the hospital, one of the most difficult things that I had to battle with inside. But I went and tried so hard to hold on. I let go as there was nothing or nobody to grab ahold of. They walked by me while I was in tears, stared at me with the sadness in my eyes, embarrassed me in front of others, argued against what was set up as a plan--a PLAN THAT I MADE with MY ED THERAPIST. But no, they just would not listen, not follow this to help me help myself. WHY DAMN IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!! So what, is this the end then? I have no more options, I have no where to get the help that I need.

Please tell me what the point is, what do I do anymore? The breakdown started with the professionals, not me. But I am being blamed for it. I fought, I spoke up for once, I told them what I needed...they could not give this to me. All they did is sit on their butts unless they needed to give out meds. What the hell is with that anyway?? So I went in sick and came out sicker. So is this my time then to check out? What message does this send to the ones that are ill? I can't do this on my own, thats why I finally admitted this and went for help. I can't do this on my own.

Justy