Sorry for being ambiguous. I meant specifically relationship(s). Maybe, it's because of my traumas and being lonely most of my life leads to me feeling alone again so painful.

But at the time, I did not know about you having kids. Now I am even more astonished. I can imagine kids do give a reason to live and a distraction. But, it's so much work, so much effort to raise kids! Now I am stunned, how have you managed to earn living and find time for the kids. What about yourself? When last have you had any time for yourself? Therapist once per month sounds so miniscule compared to everyday hardships you have to endure.

P.s. I feel so weak now, compared to what you have to go through. And I am whining about just being single and feeling lonely.