"@RDMercer, it takes time to learn what people are actually saying when they make their comments. This other couple stating there are two sides actually means they don’t want to take sides. These people are not trying to declare fault, they just don’t want to disrespect either of you or take on the challenge between you."
I know that is what they were saying.
And my point was, My kids needed support. We were dealt covert abuse for years, and they needed someone else to believe them. At some point you have to find your backbone and take a side.
And what I said to them was true. If the genders were reversed, they wouldn't have hesitated. If it was a woman left in that situation they wouldn't have been saying, "Well.. There's two sides to everything" I'm sure there would have been outrage.
There aren't two sides to this. We were abused. My kids were relying on their kids' friendships, and we needed support, and the adults were going "I don't hear anything. Don't involve us." I let that happen for a year, then questioned them on it again, and got the same response. I've let them go.
If you've been gaslit and manipulated for years into accepting your abuse, then it's not OK to keep people around who will draw your experiences into question.