Your post is showing a lot of growth RD. WhenI first started interacting with you, you were committed to staying on your path with your wife and being devoted no matter what. NOW you are recognizing how toxic the relationship really was and how it was causing so much damage.
You still experience trauma symptoms but you are gaining on understanding why and your recovery time is shorter. Your wife invaded your space and she knew how to disable you. People who choose to behave this way are NOT healthy to be in a relationship with. Covert is especially toxic because it’s planned out in sneaky ways and meant to disable.