I've got a couple of things on my mind tonight:

One of them is trying to figure out if some of the things I've been struggling with recently are only a result from my abandonment wound getting triggered, if I've actually been in a mixed episode and it's paranoia, or a combination of the two. I went through a few days where I was convinced every one of my homeroom students hates me. I'm still worried they don't like me, but I'm more grounded about it (if that makes sense-I'm not completely spiraling but the fear is still there). Some of it is definitely abandonment wound stuff, but my paranoia can also present as being convinced absolutely no one in my life likes me or wants me around and I've been struggling with that. I don't think I've had any other manic symptoms though so maybe it's just abandonment stuff.

The other thing is it hit me that last September I also wasn't in a great space. I've never thought my symptoms were related to seasonal changes, but maybe there is a connection to that and/or transitioning back to school.