I’m embarrassed to see my psychiatrist on the 15th of October. I haven’t seen him in like 4-5 months. Because he rescheduled once. Then again because he was on vacation. Then I rescheduled. So October 15th will be the first time I’ve seen him in quite awhile. And I know he’s gonna have me step on the scale. Due to my history of anorexia , and also phases of bingeing and purging. (I’m recovered from all that but I seem to have gone into another direction lately and have been just purely bingeing a lot) Well I’ve gained like 15-20 lbs since I was last there and I feel mortified of stepping on the scale and saying the number.