I understand not wanting to ask for empathy because it could feel forced. That's why I hate asking for things like empathy or love. I also understand the need for empathy and that it might require asking for it. Sometimes people just don't understand how they are being perceived or don't understand what we are needing.

I don't know what is playing out for you right now. I do think you might be at an impasse. My guess is the only way you're going to be able to move forward is by discussing all of this: her memory, her lack of empathy, maybe even how her vacation/virtual is still affecting you (e.g. still needing more support).

I wonder if it feels frustrating that your issues with her are taking over precious time you need to be able to process the things about your friend? That's how I'm feeling with L right now. Like "Hey, it's MY time!". It's like she's not on the same page as you.

I would ask for empathy. I have to do it directly sometimes. I even do it with H. I wish they could read my mind. I wish it would just come naturally. But sometimes they just need to be reminded.