Thanks, Scarlet.

I agree with you - an honest conversation is needed, but there is also a lot of frustration that I haven't been able to talk about the things I need to discuss.

I haven't been able to focus on settling back into the relationship because I've been ping-ponging around September trigger dates whilst trying to figure out what it would actually take for me to feel safe with her again...and then we need to have a conversation about the material that I had to shelve for emotional safety reasons.

I feel guilty for needing more support, but right now...it seems like she can't be the support that I need her to be.

When I feel like she's there for me, she's there for me...but the last three in person sessions felt like a rush towards the summer holidays and I haven't had a chance to catch my breath because I've been trying to figure out how to do all of this...stuff.