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comrademoomoo
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Member Since Feb 2019
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Default Sep 24, 2024 at 11:58 AM
 
Maybe her lack of empathy is only one aspect of your stuckness. It sounds like there are multiple things you would like to discuss and you aren't sure where to start, how to make the time, what's most pressing, and so on. I can imagine that trying to sort through all this material feels daunting - subtract the empathy you are used to and the ground becomes somewhat fragile.

I am aware that I am often at odds with the gentle crowd here, but I think there is therapeutic work in the experience of not receiving empathy. I strongly believe that therapy isn't just about soothing and getting our needs met. It's also about being able to tolerate not having our needs met (even if we ask). What if she doesn't feel empathetic? What if it is just business as usual as far as she is concerned? (I am not saying I believe this to be the case). That of course is really painful, but it is also potentially some growth. Beyond the common human desire to be understood, what is it about empathy (or the lack of) which makes it a crucial matter for you? These are rhetorical questions of course. For example, for me, lack of empathy would recall my mother's cruelty. Equally, my mother's cruelty means I am very likely to not recognise empathy when it is offered. Anyway, I am rambling a bit now, but these painful experiences are fertile ones and we miss a lot if we simply seek the reassurance of empathy, care, etc.
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Thanks for this!
Oliviab