IDK, I understand she has problems but it sounds like you are bending over backwards and accepting any and all excuses from her? Why does she have to live independently after moving away from & divorcing her husband, why not just move in with you? I know you want to spend the rest of your lives together, but at some point you do have to ask yourself, can you put up with the endless excuses & procrastination for your entire life with her whenever a change comes in the future? And things happen to most people in this life - job loss, job change, moving houses, etc.

To me it sounds like you've more than bent over backwards for her and she's still dragging her feet. I mean, you have done WAY more than my husband ever did to understand mental illness & bipolar prior to my moving in with & marrying him. Yes, that change was scary for me, I'd lived on my own for years & wasn't used to co-existing with a partner rather than a roommate. But I have to agree with whoever posted previously about procrastination not being a part of bipolar. Anybody can procrastinate, that is not a characteristic unique to bipolar or mental illness.

And I know this sounds harsh but have you asked yourself (really truly asked yourself) just how healthy this relationship is for you?