. You say she can't be independent even for a short while, so I'd assume you are okay with her being completely dependent on you even after the move and marriage and all that?

>>We've discussed our roles at great length. My role is to make sure the bills are paid and that all the machines are working. (I fix ****) She will clean (if she wants to) She will cook (If she wants to) and contribute to the budget as she can. beyond that, I am content that she merely loves me.

What is her current husband's knowledge of this (it sounds like he knows ABSOLUTELY nothing about it)

>>He knows NOTHING. She want to move out one day when he is at work and tell him later that day.

is he going to wake up one day and find out his wife had a commitment ceremony and wants a divorce?

>>She intends on telling him the same day, and proceeding with a no contest divorce.

Her anxiety about it would definitely be up if the only thing she knows/plans on doing is leaving and going to you, but having small chronological steps makes sure things go smoothly and, well, actually go.

>> I am considerate of her anxiety and am taking "baby steps" all along the way.

You first said she'd divorce after she moves, and then said you'd get married when the divorce finalizes.

>>Correct.

I think you guys just need to come up with a more solid plan. We can't provide it to you without knowing every little detail, but I will say change is way easier when there is more information on how that change is going to proceed.

>>Ask me anything you like.

This just sounds like a bad idea.[/QUOTE]

I've been alone for 64 years, and I guess I'd better get used to it. Could be worse. I could have my arms hacked off by a chainsaw.

Dry humor. Sue me.