You don't have to go solo and then present her with the finished strategy for you to work through.

I laughed reading this, because you've hit the nail on the head.
I feel as though I've been set a particularly in-depth project, whilst at the same time being the project...

I'm intrigued by the idea that not listening to oneself can be a 'life pattern'...that definitely resonates.

I'm taking an online course on non-violent communication in the hope that I can learn how to identify feelings and needs, and then figure out how to ask for those needs to be met.

Course, this is all stuff that R would support me with in ordinary time...but this isn't ordinary time.