In a way, I think I should stick it out and resolve whatever Stuff in my mind makes me turn towards women who are older than myself. This is the second time transference has come up. The other time was When I was in my late teens and I saw a therapist then. She dealt with it very well. She was very sensitive. She understood where I was coming from obviously I don’t want to be my therapist daughter but it made me so jealous when she talked about her daughters And when I’ve had to take my daughters with me, she has always treated them kindly and nurturing.

She mentioned to me that maybe I should see someone different if I wanted to. Which I don’t know if I do want to, if I did, I would probably see a man since I couldn’t have maternal transference with him. But she was taking this advice from an email where I said I felt like stopping therapy. I didn’t say I wanted to see someone different. I just am so tired of it. I’ve been seeing her for quite a long time now she’s not always the best therapist I think she could use some training with how to deal with some of this stuff. Also, when I saw her she looked as though she had tears in the corner of her eyes and that made me feel like maybe I shouldn’t push things too far today because she already looks stressed.

Anyway There is an update for you all. I had trouble getting into my account so the update has come a bit later.