@HALLIEBETH87 I learned a new word: "echolalia." Thank you! When she says "internal" echolalia does she mean your inner monologue does it, but it doesn't come out? Because I do that too, but more in a "quote from someone else that fits so I use it" manner (and I don't get the difference?)

@JaneOnceMore I love your little depressive humor quotes glad yesterday was overall ok, hopefully today is more of the same.

@June08 Sorry you're struggling with those fears. I have those same ones during/after talking to other people a lot. "Did I seem like a psychopath when I said that?" "Did I seem like an over emotional wuss with that?" "I was paranoid about that dude over there and looked at him a lot instead of at my partner, do they think I was checking him out?" all followed by "damn, they're going to realize I'm not good for them and drop me like a library book being returned out of hours." I don't know about you, but I have a lot of abandonment/rejection fears from people constantly coming in/out of my life when I was younger, and this is just those beliefs coming out rather than the reality (generally). If it's a pattern, you might want to think about why those thoughts/fears come about so you can rationalize things a little more and ease some anxiety. Just some food for thought.

@Scooter9 good to see how you keep persisting. I know depression is a major thing for you, but you do report doing a lot of good things despite that. I bet it does help you from sinking deeper too, which is always good. I hope you get to a place you feel at baseline, a true euthymia, for a long while soon.

I appreciate all of you guys so much I can't imagine where I'd be without your support and insight. I know I'm not the greatest at helping others out, but I have learned so much from you, and I hope I haven't been as awful a presence here as I think I have been right now.
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I drove for the first time in weeks today. There were no maniacs around, and it's gone well (getting here anyways). I also stopped and picked up a new notebook and some crappy headphones to use here/the library. I always get paranoid they don't work and other people hear my crap music taste .

I might do a little sight seeing myself today. My parking pass expires in like 10 minutes so I have to go anyways. Maybe I'll come back later with some cool pics It'd be nice if I trust myself to see pdoc in person instead of telehealth next appointment.