Thanks Comrade,

It's been a rough month because I've been navigating a maze of trigger dates alongside trying to move into processing space with her.

You pose an interesting question when you ask about my sense that she is steady in the process.

That is the kind of footing that I hope we can regain with time and trust, although I am not sure what rebuilding that looks like in terms of the relationship I have with her.

My friend's death has affected my faith on so many different levels, and the fact that my faith in R is wavering as a result of the long break (which she 'wouldn't call a break') is challenging.

It's hard to figure out, and even though she has asked me to let her know how she can help...I feel as though I have to work that out as well.

Lost