I am generally taking my meds as prescribed. I'm on depakote and ritalin. I've forgetten the noon dose of Ritalin a couple times, but I wouldn't think that's a major factor. Hell, I think the Depakote is why my mood is Oceangating it. It's helped with mania in the past (have NEVER been manic on it before), but the blurry vision and brain fog (and lack of mania, I guess) make me feel god awful. I'm not on anything to help with the drinking either. I've tried Naltrexone and that makes me feel like I have a permanent hangover, and she doesn't like patients being on antibuse because a few people have thrown up at the smell of, say, hand sanitizer, and my eating disordered *** would probably start huffing rubbing alcohol to kick the terrorists out. (I feel like that could be on r/brandnewsentence.)

but I did get back to sleep at 4am. And woke up just before 7am. And now I'm waiting for my med management person to come by to watch me eat some Ritalin which is supposedly supposed to be a stimulant that keeps people awake, but I swear it's helped me nap during the day more than trazodone has helped me fall asleep at night so I guess if I'm lucky I'll get a few more hours that hopefully won't be as awful as being awake because I go back to being a stupid kid doing stupid things around/with stupid people that gave me stupid scars. Then if that happens I can wake up feeling stupid and take a stupid shower and stare at those stupid scars just to remind myself how stupid I am.

edit: ok, so it is quarter past 11 and my turn on the med run still has not come about. I hope whoever it is today didn't get stabbed. Without knowing how to kindly transition from that, I will say I just made an appointment that's at 1:15 so I've gotta be out of here by 12:30...