It's good to see you back.

Also good to know that you're doing well, and continuing forward with personal growth.

Of course, there was a part of me that wondered if you packed the car, and headed for the hills…

And another part that worried if you were okay- though it doesn't seem like he manages to get into your head enough to put you in a bad mental space for very long?

Anyhow, it was good to see your post pop up.

Isn't it odd how people can fall into types that are either interested in solutions, or interested in problems? My H dwells on his problems too- they've essentially become his identity. He manages to get a lot of attention with his ongoing problems too- from medical staff, some coworkers, certain family members, etc. There's probably not much motivation for him to give that up at this point.

At least as problem solvers, we can continue to move forward and grow in meaningful ways. You are absolutely right about what a difference that mentality can make, especially over the long run.

Someone looking in at my life from an outside perspective might not see it as much different than it was a couple of years ago, but I've grown quite a bit as a person. My headspace is a completely different place than it was just a few years ago. Particularly what I'm not willing to tolerate, how I care for myself, and being more proactive in general. I hope you are able to track your progress in a similar way. It's all slow and steady change, and presumably leading somewhere better eventually.

Physical issues are definitely an issue for H. He was always someone who had an idealized vision of himself, but not necessarily in a narcissistic way until things started falling apart. Then he couldn't adapt and adjust to health changes and aging. It's like he can't handle life anymore because it's not some perfect and ideal standard. In all fairness, his physical issues can be pretty significant, but that doesn't mean that life (his and/or mine) should revolve around that alone. You work with what you've got, because we all have to do that, right? In his rigid mind, that only applies to other people.

That doesn't mean I don't feel badly for him, or have compassion, but we all have limits of how much we can give before it becomes too detrimental to ourselves and living our life.

How are your kids doing? Do they like school? It's always hard to get back into the grind.

My DD is struggling a bit with adjusting to college. It's very different from high school- she misses being around her friends throughout the day. Going to a class, then coming home between classes, and the reduced time actually spent at school, are still strange for her.

Since she's not ready to drive (which is fine- traffic can be scary here), I'm her ride, which chops up my day in a new way, but it's enjoyable too. The days definitely don't drag, and they're interesting with her bouncing back and forth, and being here more of the day. Can't complain too much.

Keep on keeping on