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atisketatasket
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Default Sep 28, 2024 at 11:13 PM
 
Quote:
Originally Posted by Jersey 4 View Post
I’m having trouble in my marriage. We aren’t fighting or anything. I think I just don’t love him anymore. I mean I love him as we are together for 24 years now but I’m not in love with him. We co-exist. We are more like roommates. We don’t spend any time together anymore. I work days all week Monday-Friday and he works nights all week Monday-Friday. When we are home together on the weekends we aren’t really “together”. Neither of us are putting forth any effort anymore. So it’s not just like I’m placing blame on him. I’m not. It definitely comes from both sides. The thing is that he’s not a bad guy. He treated me well. There is no simple answer to this. End it? Just keep living the way we are? I don’t actually expect anyone to give me the answer. I’m just sending the question out into the universe. Sometimes I wonder if I’d be happier alone. I’ll take advice if anyone has any. I know we can try to do things like find a hobby together or revisit some of the things we used to enjoy doing together to try to connect but the desire isn’t there from either side.
Well, are you content with the current arrangement? Is he? Are you financially interdependent on each other? If it’s three no’s, I’d say try a separation and see if that changes anything.

Lots of marriages end up like yours—roommates really. If it’s causing pain, do something about it. If it’s not causing pain, then think about what you want. Do you need that connection? Do you have some image of marriage that you feel you’re falling short of?

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“I do not know what this can mean. I am so very sad.” —Heinrich Heine
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