I am so sorry you are in that situation. From what I read, it sounds complicated, so perhaps you might want to consider getting some opinions from an attorney or legal professional. This kind of things isn't usually free, but sometimes it is the only way to get good advice and clarity. So sorry again. Sounds like a very heartbreaking situation.

PS: Some cities have free or low cost legal clinics. You can call the Bar Association where you to live to see if and where there are free or low cost legal clinics in your area.