I genuinely feared her.

I could never understand how to explain that or why it was so extreme.

I think it was because of the extreme gaslighting, and the conditioning to just take her anger and bitterness defenselessly.

And, I'm thankful to my current therapist for pointing out that I was physically abused. Long term sleep deprivation is physical abuse. Dr Ramani talks about that as physical abuse as well. She incited panic in me by bursting into the room repeatedly to say all these heinous things to me then leaving.

I hope I'll be able to speak from a genuine place and an honest place. I'm actually scared to heal too much before I have to speak about this in court because I'm scared if I'm too calm it will reduce the legitimacy of what we experienced.