Several things I know without the shadow of a doubt:

1-She was diagnosed as bipolar 20 years ago, is on medication, and sees her psychologist regularly.

2- She wants to leave and be with me so much it actually bring her to tears. She has a horrible, crippling fear of change.

3- I've read many books and tried to study bipolar the best I can. I now know that no 2 bipolar sufferers are the same. All of you show slightly different symptoms.

In Genevieve's case, self-medicating with alcohol gave her the strength and courage to face her fears up to 12 years ago, when she quit drinking.

She believes 100% that bipolar is what gives her this terrible fear of change. Like many of you, she copes by having a routine every day, and she is terrified that breaking her daily ritual will cause confusion and distress.

She is not playing a game, and she is absolutely sure I am the man she wants to spend her life with. I can't go into detail here, but she has proven this to me in ways that cement her commitment to me.

It fear, plain and simple. Fear of change, for a bipolar person trying to make a major life decision totally clear-minded and sober.

Another huge fear is her adult son. He's 31 and successful, living out of state. She fears that if she makes this change he will think she is drinking again and making a reckless decision. It could be very bad at that point for her.

All of her major life decisions until now were made using the help of alcohol. One of her biggest fears is that her family won't believe she is making this decision sober, and that is a huge problem.

The way her family sees it, she has a perfect life. Her 80 year old husband sleeps in another room and provides all the monetary support she needs. That is all the they see. They don't understand that a human being needs more.

With me, she has affection, real love, a lot less money, but the love and devotion she has always needed, and the intimacy we all need. Hell, that old man has never even kissed her in 13 years.

All she wants is a normal, loving relationship, but she has made nothing but bad decisions based on self-medication until now. She has never made a major life decision stone cold sober, and she intends to stay that way.

The fear she has, she sincerely believes is the result of bipolar. I think it is as well . Whether or not this is actually true is irrelevant at this point. The fear of change has her paralyzed and in tears.

How do you conquer this terrible fear?