As raspberry pointed out you are talking to people who have bipolar and are living it. I’m 66 have lived with bipolar since I was 20, have been hospitalized multiple times and for long periods and have met many others who live with this disorder and have been in support groups for years both in real life and on line, never, not once did crippling fear ever come up. Not once. It’s not part of bipolar.
It can be a mental illness but it’s an anxiety disorder. Intense fear of change is called metathesiohopbia and can be helped with therapy. But it is not a part of bipolar and for you to say you have “researched” it is insulting. You want us to help her, we can’t that can only come from her seeking out help, and her asking for help.
Frankly I’m beginning to believe you are winding us up. Having us on.