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Have Hope
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Member Since Dec 2017
Location: Eastern, USA
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Default Oct 02, 2024 at 10:45 AM
 
It is good she talked me out of it, thank goodness. The one thing I have going for me is that he knows nothing about my life (aside from being able to drive by my home) since March/April. I threatened a restraining order then because he was showing up uninvited to my home several times. That was my last communication with him. So he knows nothing of my life. And that’s empowering for me. The rub with him dating is she has dark hair and dark eyes, just his type and preference, he told me once. I have dark eyes and dirty blonde hair so that comment always made me feel insecure with him. Now he’s “dated up” and I’m sure he’s gloating about it and hopes to run into me with her to shove it in my face. I suspect this is the revenge relationship for that reason. I wouldn’t put it past him at all to seek revenge on me for leaving him and divorcing him. He’s vindictive and vengeful, I know from first hand experience. So that’s the trigger and the rub for me with her. He found just his type to flaunt in my face, and that stings like you wouldn’t believe. The fact that he would still want to hurt me, hurts. It’s a knife in my chest. I’m still so triggered.. how do I get past it? Sure, he won’t treat her well either, I’m convinced. But that doesn’t help me to feel better right now,. I don’t think he’s working either so I’m
Sure he mooching off her financially, just as he did with me.

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"Twenty-five years and my life is still trying to get up that great big hill of hope for a destination"

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