Maybe a good start would be closing this thread and starting a new one with a less explosive title.

I find it upsetting myself, i cant imagine how you feel to be constantly reminded of it.

I know being reminded or not doesnt CHANGE things, but what is the point of purposely re-traumatizing? Its like getting your car stuck in sand or snow - the point is to get yourself out. Figuring it out is how growth happens, not digging yourself in deeper and deeper.

And yes, i can (and probably will) put this thread on ignore.