LT, I guess I must trust L in some ways because why am I refusing to leave her? I believe she won't abandon me as in stop being my therapist. I don't trust her to stop hurting me, but I know that's unrealistic. But to some degree, I need her life to stop impacting mine. I'm trying to trust that she's been 100% honest with me. I mean she must be to tell me all of these things, right? I think if just somehow I can get myself to trust her honesty, I might be able to hold onto the good parts of our relationship.

Similar to your ex-MC and Artie's L, I wish my L would give me good enough cause to leave her. Lie outright to me. Abandon me. Insult me. I don't know! But I just think to myself how can I give her up? What if we can work through it? She's willing to. And now T thinks I should work through it. T says we're all messy people just trying to find our way.

I do think a break would be good. I really do see the pros. And yes, T would definitely be there for me if/when I need her. And I just don't know how to let go. I'm seriously addicted to all the contact. And I have a fear of missing out on precious time with her before her leave. But pretty much, not all, everyone says that I should at least take a break.