I have responded on your other thread but see that this one is much longer. See https://mysupportforums.org/7446055-post16.html

I am sorry to say that but you appear very naive. I think the person who needs to be protected and cared for here is you. You seem to be embarking on something that can be treacherous. The preparations you describe having made are over the top and she is not even separated. You realize how long divorce takes in the United States? And you already call her a fiancée?? In what way is she your fiancée? Does anybody outside of you, her and people on this forum know that she is your fiancée? Typically, the word fiancée is used when the engagement has been made public. The use of this term signifies a public change of status.

Then, she sends you an online article and you... believe it? But by default, on the internet, today, you can find articles that purport to support any claim, including opposite claims that directly contradict each other. Plus, just pure statistics should make you dubious of this claimed correlation: bipolar, and you wrote that you had read books about bipolar so you should he in the know, is not a rare disease, but its prevalence is in the single digits. From 1% to 5% depending on how narrowly you define it. Procrastination is a very, very widespread condition. One reason we have it - no, it is not fear of change - has to do with how are brains have evolved and how they are not adapted to modern life. The stuff about the limbic system which evolved millions of years ago and back then was highly adaptive versus the prefrontal cortex, the most recent addition to our brains, and how the limbic system wins when the two are in conflict, and therefore we do not pursue our long term goals but instead procrastinate, spending time on stuff that our prefrontal cortex would disapprove of but the limbic system rejoices at because of some instant reward. Fascinating stuff. You may also want to read "Thinking, Fast and Slow" by Daniel Kahneman, a Nobel Prize laureate who passed away earlier this year.

But at any rate, what you write seems so very odd. There is this woman who in the past married for sheer convenience, who has been using another man for 13 years for sheer convenience, probably misleading him, at least in the beginning, who is not independent, who seems to be using her dx (diagnosis) to come up with excuses for her not being independent and for other things as well, and you are trying so hard to win her over? I think you need a good therapist with whom you can reality test, strategize, and get a second, levelheaded opinion on your proposed plan of action.

What have your past relationships been? Is it the first time that you plan to be the sole provider in a couple? I did not read the whole thread but only a couple of your posts.