My Support Forums - View Single Post - Bipolar Check-in #83

Nammu · Yesterday at 06:53 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by LadyShadow

Things have been really crazy, and now I am not sleeping and getting headaches. Cutting my best friend out of my life hurt A LOT more than I thought it would. I have such bad anger issues, and I do lash out at people if I feel I was wronged - have done it in the past and lost good friends because of it too, you would think I would learn. *Shrugs* Anyway, it is affecting me a lot, my heart feels broken, even though she is the one who wronged me, but I feel I should have handled it better.

Yesterday was completely nuts. Went to work in Raleigh, then checked into a hotel downtown, (it was so nice but I didn't get to enjoy it because I was hardly there) - I stayed overnight because my friend was getting an award for her service work in recovery and helping women in the justice system - I was there to support her and got her a gift - It was a big banquet/benefit/fundraiser - pretty fancy, but I was feeling unsatisfied and very on edge. I don't like driving at night especially downtown, it feels too much like Manhattan, and what do you know, a crazy driver almost hit me not once but TWICE! It was Saturday night so I am figuring some kind of impairment was involved, but scary, nonetheless. Had to have my wits about me and practice all that defensive driving I learned from living among all those crazy drivers in NYC, lol.

I haven't been sleeping either. Every night I am being woken up at around 3-4am and can't go back to sleep, even with my CPAP. It's really bad. I need to do something, maybe have a conversation with my pdoc. Mood is up and down, but I think that's due to the lack of sleep.

@raspberrytorte - I am going to jump on the CAT HAT bandwagon - I think it would be so cute on you - @Blueberrybook - hydroxyzine does wonders for me with the racing thoughts, maybe you should take it a little more often if it helps, I am sorry that you've been struggling with it.

I really miss posting more often, but I haven't really been home the past two weekends - life is busy, which is a blessing, but sometimes I think I just need rest.

Big hugs to those who need one today.

Do check in with your pdoc. You went down on so many meds quite fast. Even if you have to go back up on some of them temporarily it ok. You’re still miles better than you were a couple years ago! Hold on to that.