Gaslighting by itself is a reason to divorce. It's abuse, as I've mentioned before. Things will not improve - abusers do not change. Take her as she is today and accept it, or realize that you're being abused and get out. It's that simple. Don't get stuck in hoping for change and in falsely thinking it will all magically improve. You will waste precious years of your life, hoping for something that will never happen. Like I said, either accept her for who she is today, or cut loose and divorce and find greater happiness. The choice is yours. To me, life is far too precious to waste. I would rather be free of abuse, happy, and alone than be struggling in a relationship day after day. Good times you can have with anyone.