raspberry, I feel for you. I'm not sure about the legal end of your situation at all, but I hadn't talked to my dad in a while when he died (no one I kept in contact with had) and I didn't even find out until I headed there and the place was all fked up and some dude he used with told me what happened. Quite a relief really. I know for me it was good to detach as much physically, mentally, and emotionally as possible the earlier the better.