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RDMercer, I appreciate that you laid out the difference between your wife and your mother. The one that has to know that the most is you. I am sure your mother genuinely loves you and is empathetic.
What I was trying to point out is the uncertainty that comes about when someone has a problem with alcohol. The ages you were when your mother was challenged doesn’t have the life skills to understand what it means. It’s unsettling in a way that these age groups can’t articulate.
It’s good to know your mother got help and support. Many fail to make that commitment.