I have OCD and have been in therapy for years, but what bothers me is my porn addiction. I have seen TRULY disgusting things, and I mean the most grotesque and vile things anyone can imagine. I can't forgive myself at all, because there were terrible things I saw, and recently I was on a porn site, everything was normal and you know, regular porn, until, I came across a specific porn and I looked and I saw that in a general context, It was what I was looking for, but there was a character (It wasn't with real people), and I was morrified and almost vomited. I feel really bad, and been thinking about ending my life because that wasn't the worst thing I've seen, and I got such a good life and family, but I am a monstrous pervert, a horrible person.