Very, very anxious again today. My PRNs did nothing. I just have struggled all evening. I'm trying to distract myself but it's not working well. I don't even know why I'm anxious. I just am. I'm about to take a gabapentin but I'm scared it will make me sleepy in the morning and I need to get up for therapy.

The biggest cause of the anxiety I can pinpoint is that I run out of clozapine in a week. I'm having a hard time getting things coordinated between my pdoc, the pharmacy and the computer system that releases my meds. I have no desire to run out. My pdoc has been out of the office (I'm pretty sure anyway) and tomorrow she works from home and I don't know if she can access what she needs to from there. So tomorrow night I'll call their system and leave a message so they know all day and not just when I wake up that I am running out of time here.

I hate that part of clozaril. It can be so stressful.


But at least my therapist is back and hopefully can talk me through this somehow.