Quote:
Originally Posted by iheartjacques
Ugh. After 29 years you would think I would know what to avoid. Dated a guy for a year. Ignored the red flags. Now I know I have to work on myself. Therapist said he was an abuser and should’ve known better. I’m disappointed. It’s taking me time to get over it.
I guess my question is - will I ever get it right? After all that therapy and staying on my meds etc.
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I am glad you are doing so well now, focusing on kids, work, and the goal.
Your OP seems to imply that the passage of time (29 years) should teach you what to avoid, but about the number of datapoints? From what little you wrote, there was this guy, before him an unsatisfying marriage which you initially feared leaving but now are so glad you left, and... how many more men of the same "type"?
Unless it is a really high number and you keep repeating the same pattern of missing the SAME red flags again and again, I think you are too hard on yourself expecting yourself to be a clairvoyant. And 1 year is not a terribly long time. And as said above, this man probably fooled you in the beginning anyway, appearing not who he truly was.