You really have three options here. Don’t invite her over. Invite but clean prior. Invite but don’t clean. Choose whatever option makes you less stressed. That’s what I do when not sure what to do. What’s less aggravating?

First of all, I really wish I could talk to your mother. I can’t imagine criticizing my daughters housekeeping. She’ll bite my head off. I’d not dare lol I am sorry you have to deal with this nonsense.

Second of all, I agree with others about cleaning service. My daughter and son in law have somebody every other week. My daughter is very messy by nature. And my son in law can’t do it all so she always had cleaning service when she was single and now. That’s the only way. Their cleaning lady is no nonsense. The best.

I have to add that although I don’t criticize my daughter, I habitually clean when I am in their house, out of habit. She was offended on a few occasions but mostly she’s good with it, mainly because my son in law appreciates it and I don’t make a fuss. But they live far so it’s not a regular visit.

Listen, I don’t do any gardening. Whatever you do is more than what I do.

Let us know what you decide?