Quote:
Originally Posted by Tart Cherry Jam
"Radical candor" is a new term for me but about 11 years ago I encountered references to "radical honesty" which seems similar. I will look up "radical candor".
I think what Divine suggests is not radical candor, though, because she includes "I’d not tell her that her activity is boring for you or that you saw a better event. " and I do appreciate these pointers as they soften the message. So candor, yes, but maybe not quite as radical.
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I want to apologise for wording my suggestion in such a way. I trust you to be much smarter than any abstract concept. I actually wanted to share new concept that can be a basis for modern positive social interaction. Common sense and true feelings will win over any abstract concept every time.
For me, the thought process of applying this principle is more like this. I want to improve system of me, my friend and our interaction. I don't want to hurt my friend. I don't want to lie or do anything, that may harm our relationship in strategic(long) perspective, even if it brings immediate gains. So, I want to find and tell a truth, that will shift our common activities, but wont hurt my friend feelings. Providing alternative instead of criticizing is one of the things "Radical Candor" proposes to do (well, it's actually a common sense - but I wish it was actually common).
The final conversation hugely depends on the other person and our relationship. It may even be inviting my friend to an activity preemptively, before said friend has a chance to invite myself somewhere. Maybe, even using same exact time spot my friend usually uses for his/her usual activity. (this may be risky strategy in your case).
Well, it's a lot of rant. I feel that my mind is not that clear right now. I hope I may have been helpful somewhere.
I wish you to enhance your relationship with your friend and have a happy life!