As soon as I walked in, you could now see she's showing. It broke my heart. Now there's no denying it. It's there with us forever reminding me of the pain. I don't want to go back. I don't want to see her. I cried the whole session.
I once again don't remember most of the session. The only part I remember was we were talking about two of my parts being at war with each other. Like in the trenches tossing bombs at each other. I think the two parts were anger and cling. I'm having such a hard time finding a middle ground with the push/pull. But she thinks the two sides will come together over time.
L thinks I'm actually making progress. She says my window of tolerance is actually bigger because I'm able to feel more. She says that actually makes things harder, but I'm able to handle more too.