Maybe the ineer battle is the knowledge of the love this baby is going to get and you can never go back to that first connection, not with T becuse that time for us had passed..no T in the world will have the same love for clients that they have for their babies, they they can say they've got room for everyone but deep down we know the difference... And that's how it should be but our feelings can't tolerate that.. Our interlect may say it gets it and theres lots of that going on in the room with you and T.. But the feeling part feels abandoned... Facing each session knowing each time you walk in the room... That grief needs to be felt...a hands up moment kinda thing.. An "omg ask the love you're going to give your baby and hehe I am just a client trying to get something,I anything from you to but none if it will match what that baby will receive"...