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Albatross2008
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Default Oct 16, 2024 at 11:31 AM
 
Quote:
Originally Posted by Mountaindewed View Post
My deadname is Mikayla. I legally changed it a few years ago.

Growing up there were a lot of Jessicas, Brittanys, Amandas, Seans, Erins, and Kyles.
I didn't mention it in my post (because it was too long already) but gender neutral names were increasinly common in my childhood. Nicknames that could be short for different names, that may or may not change spelling across gender lines. Chris for Christopher or Christina. Terry for Terrence or Theresa. Bobby for Robert, Roberta or Barbara. Billy for William or Belinda. Ronnie for Ronald or Veronica. Sam for Samuel or Samantha. Names that used to be more common for males becoming more common for females. Shannon, Tracy, Meredith, Beverly, Jesse/Jessie, Lee/Leigh, Brett, and later Kelsey, Jordan, Taylor, Tyler, and Madison.

I (female) grew up with a gender neutral name, and so did my brother. We were less than ten months apart in age. Our remaining siblings weren't encumbered as we were. Their names made their gender more obvious, whereas Brother and I were both often asked to clarify. People repeatedly pointed out that "I can't tell by your name alone if you're a boy or a girl." And in my case, my middle name was gender neutral too. When you're ten or twelve years old, that matters, especially in sexist times like the 1970's. I think this may have caused Brother to feel insecure about his masculinity, and the result was, he bullied me to no end. He had to assert his dominance and keep reminding me which one of us was the boy, doggone it, since our names didn't show it.

I changed my name later in life. He didn't. But I do hear you about the deadnaming. For me it's sort of an acid test. I can tell who respects me or not based on whether they call me by the name I chose for myself and legally changed to, or whether they insist on calling me what they want to call me, regardless of my feelings.
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