Thank you so much, LT.

We thought of virtual/phone too if I either couldn't get myself to come in or if I left. Those are still options. Like you said: things could shift and change. And if I want to move forward, I'm going to have to deal with the trigger. She won't be able to hide it forever even if I look at the floor. And I will be able to feel her when we hug as she grows.

I don't want a virtual relationship with my therapist. I don't want that specifically with her. I kind of feel that if I can't do in-person, then I might as well leave. It's all or nothing thinking. It's one of the things I need to work on. It's one reason why we were talking to those parts today. I think I need to do a lot of internal work before I can move forward with L. It just sucks because I need her help to do the work.