Hi Scarlet,
I'm glad you had a tolerable session with L, thanks to all the safeguards you put into place.
'I don't want a virtual relationship with my therapist.'
That really resonates with me.
I'm sorry this is so painful for you, and that your safe place (with L) is threatened in such a specifically triggering way.
If you can soothe the parts of you that need that soothing, I hope you can find the strength to lean into the support that L can provide.
I understand how stressful it is to know that your time with your safe person is limited.
I'm hoping that you can find a way through that works for you...because that is the most important element.
Hugs if wanted,
Lost
__________________
'Somewhere up above the great divide
Where the sky is wide, and the clouds are few
A man can see his way clear to the light
'You have all the grace you need for today, and today is all that matters.' - Steve Austin