(((((((((Melpomene)))))))))))))))

I've used the cat scratch excuse. Unfortunately it's pretty handy, unless the person who sees it has an experience otherwise.

I'm sorry you're struggling with this, it is a hard addiction to stop for a LOT of people.

Do you have anyone else to talk to about this, beyond your friends that know? A counsellor, a therapist or your doctor? It's always useful to seek help as early as you can, so maybe it doesn't become something that is mostly out of your control.

Be safe.