Best wishes on your escape plan. I hope you are free very soon. This sounds intolerable to live with.
In fact, it sounds like my brother. I had to end contact with him some time ago. I can just NEVER say anything right, as far as he is concerned. Even if it's the same thing he just got through saying yesterday, if I say it today, he's going to tell me I'm wrong. He calls it "an intellectually stimulating exchange of ideas," and "trying to explore it from another point of view." I call it picking a fight.
I think Lois Griffin explained it best on Family Guy. Not that I usually watch that show, but she was right about this. Brian had developed that personality trait, and Lois pointed out in these approximate words, "You're just trying to be a contrarian. If you're agreeing with what's been said, then you're not the smartest person in the room." They want to feel smarter than you, so they're going to look for the least little part of your thinking that they can consider a flaw, and pounce on it.
Yes, that's my brother. I got tired of having to justify and defend my every expressed thought and opinion on even the most trivial matters, so I ended contact. He claims it's because I can't stand to be disagreed with and have to have a yes-chamber all around me, and/or he was giving me sound advice that I just didn't want to hear. (Did I ask for advice? No.)