Thanks, Lost.

I am worried going forward about not being triggered by her. She's only going to get bigger. I have to come to terms with it and quickly.

Thanks for understanding about safe spaces. It's hard too because I haven't been able to process anything about the room. If I would have known this was going to happen, I would have never agreed to move. Nothing is safe in that space. I think I miss that the most: the safety.

I am trying to lean into L even if it's a little bit. Okay, more than a little bit. Whatever happens, I do actually need her right now. It sucks. Depending on the person who is causing you pain (and yes I know it's not intentional) is complicated and confusing. And I do still love her.