I think you need to tell your therapist that you don't want help and then you need to work on why you are feeling that way so strongly so that going to your next appointment isn't so hard. I think you also should talk to her about wanting to cut. She's not going to hospitalize you for that if you aren't doing it and don't have an active plan (where, when, exactly how).'

If you talk things out it may get eaiser.