I believe it was back in July when I noticed I had less disease activity which in turn resulted in lower pain levels (around a 5) - any reduction is better than the full-bore pain (8-10 and above) that I normally find myself in. Of course, I was happy to have that experience, even though I knew it wouldn't last forever and that the full-bore pain would eventually return at some point.

Well, here it comes (and during Autumn - my most favorite time of the year too), but it was nice while it lasted. It's focusing hard on my hands right now - especially the thumb joints near my wrists on up into my index fingers. The ring finger on my left hand is already extremely compromised as well as the bird finger on my right hand.

This crap has been a go ahead and just wreck the hell out of my whole body experience as my feet, knees, hips, sac-joint, lower back, middle back, shoulders, elbows and hands are already in moderate to severe pain and joint damage.

I'm not able to work and lost over half my income when I became disabled ...

I'm unable to afford doctors and specialists - even with Medicare - so I'm just winging it on my own. Not that I trust those (insert expletive here) anyhow! EFF The Medical Industrial Complex!

Not to mention the severe medical anxieties & phobias I have (Perhaps due to medical related PTSD?!).

I have a couple of debts from when I was able to work that I'm still struggling to pay off. It was so nice when I was able to work because I could pick up charters and make extra money that way.

Now I'm just proud to have one lousy frickin' dollar left in my money clip before the next disability check arrives ... I tell myself that as long as there's a dollar in there, then I'm not completely broke.

Life sucks, then you die ...