Hi R,

People I'm speaking to are beginning to suggest looking into group support.
It's not that easy to find the particular kind of support that I would be interested in pursuing here.

I can't remember if I've shared my experience of reaching out to the main suicide bereavement charity with H.

May have to do that next week, as I imagine she'll be just as flabbergasted by it.

It's not possible to grieve without letting the emotions through - and that's a really hard lesson for me to learn.

Now we have to talk about the hardest aspect again.

I have little record of those first few sessions after Steve died, because I didn't write afterwards.

I don't remember feeling much when we were working on Zoom.

As I explained to H today...'I absorbed the news of Steve's death like a blow to the head.'

Back then I couldn't reach my feelings if I wanted to.

Now I have the choice, but I don't quite have the courage.

I need you to be in it with me.

See you soon,

Lost