So I let in h a little. I told him I want to keep Anna and she's the only one telling the truth. That society is just trying to be nice. I told him I don't want meds. He asked what she is saying. I gave him the PG version but did tell him a he knows I'm struggling with food ****en bulimia is back in full force like it never left.

He doesn't know the bugs are back, that it's a constant berating, or I get no break from the scurrying flying little creatures and flys. That I'm agitated as ****, he doesn't see my random crying because peeing is just a natural part of the day, I ignore it all, smile and function, act like I'm calling/emailing for help but in reality I don't want help. Help comes with being seen, appointments, going outside, possibly hospitalization, fuss, talking (I know I talk a lot here but it's typing), explaining. I'm not sure this will get worse.